Published on The Doomstead Diner May 14, 2017
Diiscuss this article at the Psychology Table inside the Diner
A few weeks ago I wrote an article on Sexual Appeal, taking a look at what Homo Saps find appealing, colored of course by my own personal lens and experience. A generally male-centric and heterosexual centric view of this overall, I'm sure LGBTQ people have a completely different take on it. As a former Satyr, one time serial monogamist and current celibate monk I have a reasonably large swath of experience to draw on for making such analysis. Not everyone agrees with all of it, there was particularly some dispute over sexual appeal for older married people. That's not in my experience bag to draw from, so there I am just speculating.
This week, an off topic thread, the Trumpty-Dumpty POTUS thread accidentally brought the sex appeal issue back into the forefront of my consciousness. I likened El Trumpo's behavior as POTUS to some lyrics from an REO Speedwagon Pop Tune, "Take it on the Run".
But I know the neighborhood
And talk is cheap when the story is good
And the tales grow taller on down the line
So I'm telling you, babe
That I don't think it's true, babe
Or even if it is keep this in mind
You take it on the run baby
If that's the way you want it baby
Then I don't want you around
I don't believe it, not for a minute
You're under the gun so you take it on the run
Just like someone who has been cheating on their significant other, The Donald is perpetually making up lies and stories to try and cover up his indiscretions. He probably has had a lot of practice with that in the world of sexual relationships as well as in his bizness dealings and now in politics too. That doesn't necessarily mean he is very good at it, just that he has had a lot of practice and is now a habitual liar. The thing about such people is that they always get tripped up by their own lies, because they tell so many of them they can no longer keep track and keep them self-consistent. Even worse of course if you have a large staff and press spokespeople who are unaware of the latest lie you concocted on Twitter over breakfast. So the longer this clown show goes on, the deeper the hole gets for His Trumpness.
Anyhow, back to the topic of sexual appeal, which is the focus of this post, not the pathological lying of the Clown-in-Chief.
Having decided to use the "Take it on the Run" metaphor in one of my Inside the Diner posts, I headed over to Utoob to find a vid to embed, and the first one I encountered is the one you see at the top of page here in the Header. It features a bunch of Models with the kind of look popular in Fashion Magazines of the era, shot mostly in arty Black & White with the models making a lot of pouty come-hither looks for the camera. The models are all quite young, I'd estimate between 16-22 the oldest.
Now of course in modern Amerika the 16-17 year olds are not fair game for anyone over 18, but that doesn't stop the fashion photographers from dressing them up to look HOT, and as long as the clothing nominally covers all the important body parts, it's perfectly legal to sex doll them up for a fashion shoot. The girls/women doing this stuff are definitely coached by the photographers (usually male, but not always) on how to make sexy "bedroom eyes" looks at the camera, but in truth they don't usually need much coaching for this, because somewhere around when they hit puberty, they realized they were HOT and began practicing on their own in front of the mirror to tease the boys in their school.
This selection of models reminds me of all the HOTTEST girls at Summer Camp, in High School and in College from when I was around 10-25. Well, we didn't have too many of them in my HS, since it was a Science & Math HS for nerds which only 3 years earlier had gone Co-Ed, but there were even there at least a couple of pretty hot ones around. In college, there were quite a few, not just girls from Barnard, Columbia's sister-school from when they were gender segregated (where my Illuminati Spawn girlfriend was enrolled), but also from FIT, Fashion Institute of Technology where more than half the women students were hot tickets.
So these were the girls/women you chased after, starting in mainly your teen years after you yourself also passed puberty ( I got an early start, I didn't wait for puberty. lol. My first real girlfriend was in the 4th Grade, her name was Lynn. I had a crush on an older teenage girl Monica when I was in 2nd Grade in Brasil and also on my 2nd grade teacher Miss Ellen who was probably in her mid-20s, but I never got to hold hands with either of them. 😦 I did get to sit on Miss Ellen's lap a few times though. 🙂 ). Generally speaking also in the early teen years you would get rebuffed after being given the Bedroom Eyes look, and then all the girls would gather together in a Gaggle and Giggle over your impetuousity to think that you were good enough to go out with them! One has to have a strong constitution as a male to get a lot of these rejections and maintain your sense of self-esteem. Persistence does pay off though, and if you keep knocking on the door, eventually you get one to open up and invite you in. 🙂 (sorta like the Jehovah's Witnesses. hahahahahaha.)
Unfortunately, as often as not and perhaps more often, you find that what is behind the pretty face and hot bod is not what you thought it would be in your fantasies. The girl had spent so much of her early teen years on developing her "look" and flaunting her fabulous bod at anyone who would look at it and pay attention to her that she never got round to developing anything else in her personality. Or the personality that did develop was so wickedly narcissistic that after a couple of weeks you were sick to death of her. Besides both of those downsides, said hot tickets were almost always very high maintenance, as in you had to sport a nice fat wallet to afford to take them out to the best restaurants, drive them around in the latest model carz and bring them home to a nice spacious renovated loft in SoHo, not to a closet sized studio on the Lower East Side (before it was gentrified), or worse yet, your moms' house in the upstairs apartment. Scoring Hot Tickets for me went downhill fast in this period. Once you pass a certain age and your wallet waistline shrinks past a certain point, this class of women becomes unavailable to you. You're not even circulating in the same environment as them either, as you did at camp, in HS and in College. The only time you might run into one of them is at some trendy club if you could get in, and then you better have a spoon to stuff up their noses if you want to get some attention. You do NOT run into them at Walmart! lol.
So for myself, once off the Wall Street Gravy Train, I stopped chasing after the REALLY hot tickets and stepped it down a notch to more conventionally "pretty girls" who weren't quite so obsessed with how they looked, although if you dropped the makeup and hot clothing on them in some cases would have been as visually appealing as the model girls. That was the serial monogamy phase and carried me through the rest of my sexually motivated relationships until I went the celibate monastic route about a decade ago.
What you find sexually appealing has tons to do with very early childhood visual impressions, which include both the people who surround you (your parents and relatives the most early), and then later what you are exposed to in the media, TV, Film, Fashion Magazines, Rock Stars and so forth. Music in fact provides a very good analogy, because you also tend to remain attracted to the music you were exposed to in your early teens and twenties as the music you listen to for the rest of your lifetime.
My mom for example was a big Frank Sinatra fan, going well into the 1970s when the "Chairman of the Board" still had a fairly solid fan club of former 1940s era Teeny Boppers, of which my mom was one. Even though Rock & Roll from the Boomer generation had mostly taken over the airwaves by the 1970s, there still were a few AM stations featuring the tunes of Frank, Tony Bennett, Bing Crosby, Andy Williams, Johnny Mathis and others. Those were the tunes she liked to listen to, while I suspect wistfully remembering her teenage years.
Thing is here, you can most certainly listen to your favorite tunes from your youth, for me that includes bands like the Jefferson Airplane, Pink Floyd, Jethro Tull, the Moody Blues as well as all the Folk Singers of the era, but you can't really go back and chase down the Hot Tickets anymore. To paraphrase Bruce Springsteen in My Hometown, "Those Girls are Gone for you now RE, and they ain't never comin' back". lol.
In looking back on it all now, the sex drive aspect of life was a major time and energy waster for me. I'm not saying that is true for everyone, but it was true for me. I'm also not saying that it's a waste of time to look for companionship and love in your life, people are social animals and tend to need that, especially early on in life. You seek and need approval from your parents and mentors and your peers. You want somebody you can trust to tell your deepest darkest thoughts to and unload on when you feel overwhelmed. For me, sexual appeal actually got in the way of that, because the type of physically appealing female I was attracted to was often quite unsuited for any of that.
I also am DEFINITELY not saying that if I had it to do all over again I would have given it all up as soon as I hit puberty and become a celibate monk back then! It was a lot of fun doing all that skirt chasing! Of course, I paid the price for it too with a lot of angst and suffering. For every Honeymoon, there was a Divorce too to work through. What I AM saying is I'm glad it's all over and done with! lol. In the selective memory disc of my mind, I can save all the good times and delete all the bad ones. I remember enough of the bad ones though that whenever I wake up alone in my digs in the middle of the night, I am grateful for the fact that there is nobody else here in the bed next to me.