Published on The Doomstead Diner on August 28, 2016
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Newz from Inside the Diner
One of my neighbors recently got a kitten which they are keeping as an "outside cat". He (or she, I haven't checked the gonads) wanders around and shows up on my porch regularly when I go out for a smoke to further destroy my lungs.
This has been going on for the last week, and I chat with the Kollapse Kitten when it jumps my fence and arrives, scoping out the 100 or so square feet of the porch area. KK does not have much to say to me so far but is a good listener while I have a smoke. Hopefully if I keep talking it will learn English and perhaps be able to communicate with me telepathically.
The trick though has been to keep KK from actually getting INSIDE my digs, which are PRIVATE PROPERTY! If I leave the back door open, KK can sneak in, and I don't want to be cleaning up kitten poop or kitten piss in the digs! I have been successful in this battle this week up until tonight. Tonight when I opened the door to the porch to go out and poison myself further with Nicotine, KK slipped by me to head inside and investigate my digs.
Fortunately, KK seems to trust me so capturing her and picking her up to pitch back out the door was not too hard on this occassion, but my guess is if the little devil keeps at it this won't be so EZ in the future. There are tons of places in my digs I cannot get to easily that this quick little monster can. I am also not exactly really fast these days.
I do enjoy talking to KK on the porch, but I don't want the animal trapped in my digs when I go to sleep. I will try to get a picture of him/her in the next couple of days, I am quite sure more return visits will come so this won't be too hard.